Log in

No account? Create an account
knockin on heaven's door [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

close my eyes, it'll all go away. [30 Oct 2004|12:50pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Raghhh this day is just fuckin fantastic already, i was just reminded of what stupid day it is today!!!!! God damn shit mother fucking piece o dog ass it isn't fair nothing is fair i wanna scream till my lungs don't work, i just want to fuckin ugh i don't know. I want to drop out and go to cali, its in my head every day, every fucki day at least once. I hate today i hate today i hate everything, and i had such a fun night last night too. Oh yes look at how i'm looking for attention right now i'm such a pitty whore. Sorry folks screaming and bitching helps me release some of my fuckin pain!!! why the fuck am i stuck in this shitty god damned life.Fuck you assholes and yer perfect little fuckin lives that is oh so goddamned terrible. Sure people have it worse then me, but others have it a whole lot better, and they fuckin bitch. Oh my mom won't let me do this wahh wahh wahh, yeah well my mom's dead! Six years ago today,raghhhh, I don't know what to do with myself people. i'm ready to give up like everything i can't do shit right. I thought i had skateboarding,well it turns out fuckin everyone's better then me and just gah! Hah and i still havn't been to geometry. A few freinds of mine are bitchin at me for it now though. Ugh.....

7 cowboys have been shot

rebel rebel... [24 Oct 2004|12:10pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Ok, so here i am. I am alive,I don't know of people still read this, if they don't i guess i'm wasting my time. So yeah, yesterday i went paint balling, fuckin fun as hell. I got shot in the neck in the head, inbetween the nuckles on my right hand, i got shot in the hand and hmm in the shoulder a few times a few in the knee, i had sooooooo much fun. I can't wait to go again i'm gonna try and get a bunch of people to go in november anyone game? But yeah, I was bad ass yesterday, my best game i took out like 8 people. it was fuckin cool. There was these two people who i couldn't get, (they were hiding behind some fuckin wall thing) So i run full speed across the field everyones like shooting around me and i slid and look and there was like five people behind the god damned wall, i just started shootin like crazy, i pulled the trigger so damn fast, i got shot like 5 times but man i took them all out, i shot some girl in the hand and it was like cut, i kinda felt bad, but when i met her she told me my lip ring was ugly so i stopped feeling bad. But yeah i got a few welts all over, one of my teamates shot me in the hip like three times, that asshead.Its crazy to get shot in the mask too cause everything just gets blury and i was just shootin blind and then i got shot three more times and i fell to the ground and took cover. Its somthing i really wanna get into, paint ballin. So yeah nothin much is new, I miss certain people. Iwanna hear comments from all of ya's I wanna hear how you've all been. got it!? Alright catch ya cats on the flip side!

8 cowboys have been shot

my gift to you's. [21 Sep 2004|11:11pm]
[ mood | words can't describe ]

Good bye,to the very few fans who read this depressing journal. I am done with the internet. I'm gonna just be stickin to myself from now on. The way i used to be. When i was little. I am pure evil i realise and i can do nothing right. Oh well. too late now,maybe i should have been hugged more. Maybe growing up with as much shit as i did can do shit to ya. I don't know do i? I do know i just wanna be almost comletly alone. Only people i wanna hang out with are julio. Lol sad i know, but the guys like a brother, and hes me partner and i gotta keep skating. If people are really really worried i guess give the cell a call If not just know i'll be ok. So i guess this is it huh? Twas a pleasure folks. I've been a terribe person and a terrible freind. I am deeply sorry for it. I love you all, even though i don't understand love too much. And to you my greatist loss of all, i love you more then i could love myself and everything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry i'm ditchin out like this but hey sometimes shit happens. Just forget about me everyone,its the best thing to do. Well i guess this is my last poem. I won't see the comments so. Well i dunno! Hah welltake it easy, god save the queen! or somthing, i love yas. Take care don't do nothing dumb, farewell.

Alas the walls have closed
On you my freind, tonight
You are now all alone
Which to me is a delight
I've been watching,silently waiting
Waiting till i was free
Now none of them can stop me
The time has come, i have struck now
My fangs piercing your soul
Now watch and wait, feel the hate
As it poisens your very core
Its only a matter of time
Till you have truly become mine
Once again you will see
That no-one really loves thee
This is what you deserve
You feel it straining your nerve
I laugh my trumpeting laugh
your crys are lost in my cacophony
No-one will hear your screams of pain
as you become me
as you become me.....
let go....

8 cowboys have been shot

[19 Sep 2004|02:38am]
Someone awake me from my slumber, Everything comes to me in bits and pieces. It all seems like i'm sleepin, parts of everyday are blury and filled with daze. With her, i was awake. My senses sharp and intact. Life was great, i was awake. She woke me up. I'm asleep again, trapped in a nightmere. Wake me up, wake me up. I'm scared with no hands to hold. No hugs to greet. I'm alone again, the situation out of my hands, I'm a kid again. Helpless and oblivious. Wake me up wake me up. I can't wake up.Can't wake up
cowboys have been shot

eyes wide as it burys deep,last breath,forever sleep. [19 Sep 2004|01:36am]
Blah, i worked a lot. Thought abou sad crap all day. I got to drive like a little bit just no, although m dad was all yellin at me on how to park.Sorry i don't gh runnin about parkin cars. Uhhh i dunno, christina visited me at wok, which was cool.I dunno i am sad. I want to give up, forever. Lets see...hmm tool is cool. Someone hug me, she hates me. I ruined my perfect world. I now have to carry that weight. Its heavy.Too heavy.....
4 cowboys have been shot

hear my cry, hear my pain, i want you, i need your afection [15 Sep 2004|09:52pm]
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.

And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.

I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,

yeah bad ass tool song. I am alive. I am in pain. I hate lots o stuff, "Jesus help me, jesus help you too, jesus love me, jesus love you too, jesus save me,jesus save you too." Somthing i started singin a few days ago.Farewell
cowboys have been shot

fuckin dickle fruits, please end me now [31 Aug 2004|10:19pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

fuck the world~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i now hate the world and all of its ugliness. welcome back old tim. the guy who hated almost everything. Hah!!! yeha well my world has fallen. Here's an idea no-one cares, i hate myself more then i'v ever hated anything. bye

2 cowboys have been shot

yet again, kill me now [29 Aug 2004|10:36pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

*sighs* i don't know what to write..fucked up again hey nothing new!!!!!!!!! I don't wanna do anything, i wanna sleep for a long long time. i have rifle practice tomarrow isn't that so fun. god i dunno, i proll ruined everything, i am scared beyond belief. Honestly terrified. So now everyone prolly knows. Now i have to hear everyones shit. i dunno what to o, i wanna give up..i fail at everything y'know? I don't wanna be that pain and heartache and annoyance anymore. I'm sick of being that. I wanna give in, can't i give in? no more i don't wanna deal no more, i wanna give up on everything. I dislike the world. I HATE myself, everything about myself i hate. I am shit on the bottom of your shoes, look at your shoes all that gunky crap? thats me. i am sorry to all of you for ever upsettin you, in anyway. Lots of you i love, lots of you i hate. i hate a lot though rencently. I have thought about a lot of my past, have accomplished nothing.A true wopinek. fantastic, i am a failure my father as correct. I ruined his life, and now i realise i have ruined others lives as well, tim=failure hah, hilarious. i'm gonna go now... bye

2 cowboys have been shot

dance dance in the sea of pain [25 Aug 2004|10:55am]
[ mood | sad ]

hey all....yeah...well....yeah....i don't know wat to say...I'm bored. I feel empty... Uhhh i'm going to the eye doctor today to finally get my contacts i guess this is cool. I dunno.... i'm smellin somthing good from downstaires. Hm... well bye

cowboys have been shot

[24 Aug 2004|11:38am]
eyes open and heart closed
no-one really knows
how this really affects me
i'm nothing down to the core
i am the hate you all adore
the solution is brought to you with ease
i just hope its enough to please
hearts and minds cannot always be strong
you must finally realize, i am the one who is wrong
so here we go lets dance once more
c'mon heartache i've had you before
i have no fear i have no pain
so let me go, run away
its the best thing to do, just run away
its happened before,so don't you fret
i've been left before its already been set
so why are you waiting? you don't need me
theres so much better you'll soon see
so let me go, let me fade
away i'll go, the decision made...
farewell....good bye
i whisper into your eyes
i don't want you to go
but i do know
its the best for you
thats all i need to do
the best for you

my head hurts, nin is good. someone comment on this piece of shit poem. I swear i'm losing any talent i had on poems.... cause all i do is piss and moan. sorry i'm a whiny pain in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 cowboys have been shot

i dunno, what is it? [24 Aug 2004|11:27am]
[ mood | blah ]

Lets se what to write. I have nothin to right about. how about.....yeah i still got nothing. Agian i'm the ass. I'm always the ass. It sucks bein the fuckin ass, i'm ruining things, just let me go, all of you just let me go....yeah i'm done. fuck off...

cowboys have been shot

eyes wide as it tears through, [13 Aug 2004|02:45pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Ugh....i'm sure people are gettin sick of me bitchin. But i can careless. I slept over at my buddies house yesterday, we skated a bit.i landed two tricks i normally don't land. Thats about it,i stayed up till 5, practically hugging my phone and checkin it evey five mintues, eventually julio took it away from me.I'm still carrying my shitty mood, i've had it for like three days now. Someone wanna explain to me how i keep fucking up? someone should just beat me with a stick. Beat me till i'm in a coma and i can get that really long sleep i want. I want things to be fine, and ok. But thats too much to ask. I dunno. i'll prolly write a poem tonight after work, good bye

1 cowboys have been shot

sing.... [12 Aug 2004|12:23am]
[ mood | lost ]

i open my eyes, is this a lie? These things seem unreal, will i ever reveal? The real world only comes in patches. I still feel the scratches, this all a dream and a blur, i can't get loose, who tied this noose? someone take my hand and pull me free, save me from me. I need you, don't leave me, i need you,to free me.

Short, but hey, i dunno. Comment. Anyways i got my labret pierced. Isn't that cool? Not really huh..I hate......I dunno...I wanna sleep for a long long time. I feel uexplainable but its terrible. I fail at everything,i am nothing.. Worth not a damn fuckin thing. I don't even know what to write. Fuck it, take care. you lucky people and your fuckin perfect lives.

7 cowboys have been shot

eh... [08 Aug 2004|10:57am]
[ mood | blah ]

Hello, all..I don' even know what to write.. I'm fuckin bored. Tryin not to have that empty feelin, Its hard. Oh gosh my stupid sis just turned my music down. What a skanka noid, I have work, its so pooopy. I hate it!!!!!!! I worked till 12:30 last night and started feling really sick, my head hasn't hurt that bad in like forever. Plus i almost threw up! Aren't i cool? *dances around* I have no life..... I miss her.... Ugh! I dunno i should get out early tonight, anyone wanna hang call me cell. Yeah like anyone will call! No-one calls or texts me. It sucks!!!! Oka i'll stop bitchin now.BYe bye peoples

2 cowboys have been shot

julio's gee-tar machine [05 Aug 2004|12:14pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Hey there peoples. i'm sittin at my freind's house with julio here, its pretty fun. yeah....i got nothing,i'm gonna get ozzfest tickets saturday,jo's prolly gonna go with, wich is dope. I can't wait. But yeha alex's house was fun, we did lots o sittin around but still it was fun, and i bought JoAnn a coheed shirt. Aren't i cool? Yeha welp i'm gonna go, take it easy ya robots or i'll give you a gifilt da funk. lates


6 cowboys have been shot

Weiners grow on trees and i take pees [01 Aug 2004|11:25pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Well, i had work today. It was ever so fun, *insert sarcasim here* Yeha my fucking back hurts, a lot. Well after fun work i went to ellen's where she fixed up my journal,It looks so pimp now right? riiiiight
?!?!?!? yes i agree, so um Jo's in michigun yes with a u, and i mish her lots. Well i guess i'll go, bye byes

1 cowboys have been shot

*dances with wolves, all together now* [29 Jul 2004|11:30am]
[ mood | hyper ]

WEINERBUTT WEINER BUTT BUTT BUTT BUTT WEINERBUTT!!!!!! *dances around freely*Okay damnit, Someone has to find Ike, he's my naked midget and he's riding a flaming dog being chased by Scorpion who is on a mo ped and Goro who is on a Segway scooter, cooter!!! Anyways all things happen because....JESUS BAT ABE LINCOLN IN A GAME OF SKATE PEOPLE. It was hardcore, Jesus busted out with a switch tre down the leap of faith ad landed in  a nose mani, and did a backside flip into a bluntside, oh golly it made my day, Abe was just shocked. Then!!!! His head came off!!!!!!!!!! Their already planning their next game,you folks have to see it!!!Who likes my new picture thingy in the corner of the screen over there? I'm guessing none of you know what its from, but thats otay. Well. i'm gonna run off now, screaming and dancing! BYe bye

1 cowboys have been shot

the cure is love, [25 Jul 2004|01:48pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i worte some long assed poem last night and i got kicked offline and it wa deleted. saari folks! Well i dunno i'm kind sad, well i have been for the last day or so, i slept and cuddled with a carebear i won for joAnn. I really miss her, i love her so muc she thnks shes ruinng things when shes not, and she thinks i deserve bettr, there is no betere ses as good as it gets. Wll i got nothing to say i finally bought a charger people! well bye bye

cowboys have been shot

all right, don't worry, even if thigns end up a bit too heavy... [16 Jul 2004|10:34am]
[ mood | empty ]

Hey peoples whats the good word? Well i'm kida happy i guess today, i just had a weird dream. And again i woke up with a weird empty feeling in me. Wellyesterday i went skating with julio and for a short time Damian, ah man it was funny, we were skating in a street by damians house and some old lady started yelling at us and i guess damian has had this happen before, so he like walked up to her all pissed and started screaming at her about how it isn't her property. Oh golly it was great.But yeah...i think i'm going to Julio's soon. Maybe after this song. Uhhh.. i didn't wanna leave michigan. i'm missin her... I have smelly work today, its so poopy. Oi, i dunno what eles to write. Why do i feel the so empty?!!??! Does she feel the same? *shrugs* My niece just whacked me with a back scratcher!!! Oi!!!! Its prolly weird of me to miss her so much, and yeah.. I'm a weird guy. But yeah.... bye?


2 cowboys have been shot

yo yo yo [12 Jul 2004|11:33pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Hey everybodies.....I'm just bored, JoAnn's sleepin and i'm not tired yet so i'm online, thanks to her dad's laptop. SO i hope ya all are doing well. i happen to be very sun burned, i'm having tons o fun. I've been ski-ing, and water tubing, and getting ice-cream. and man its just soooo much fun. and at the end of these fun filled days, i get to sleep next to JoAnn, yeah thats lame of me to announce this, but i enjoi sleepin next to the chick that i love so dearly, her parents don't care either!then again we sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the middle of the front room with her dad sleepin on the couch nearby, but still.But yeah, now i'm just kinda bored. sittin around. well, i think i'll go lay down, i'm feeling that sleepines, ok not really i'll prolly play super nintendo, bye bye

3 cowboys have been shot

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]